my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard
what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality
- Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
- girl: ....who?
- me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
when youre at a concert does it suddenly hit you at random moments that the band are real people and not just pictures on the internet
when ur playing video games and u move the joystick half a centimeter and the character moves twelve feet and falls off a cliff
it should be my birthday everyday
you would be very old
what a rude thing to say to someone on their birthday
when U leave the barber shop with that clean cut